The Dreaded Beer Slump - And the Cure

Well it has happened. Every once in a while I get into a slump. A time when I just cannot decide what beer to drink, all brews taste insipid and offer no relief from what ales me. This is usually induced by attendance at a function where no decent brews are available and my primal tastes are aroused then beaten senseless by a dram or two of the distilled stuff. This happened to yours truly over the weekend. We were on our way to the Atlantic Highlands PBA Ball when...

We stopped at the Fortier's on Fourth Avenue to savor the rich beers of the Berkshire Brewing Company http://www.berkshirebrewingcompany.com/ . Mike, the publican at this members only establishment, serves Berkshire Brews on Tap (and in 22 ounce Bomber Bottles if you are very nice to him). Mike has singularly shared with me these divine brews on many occassions. It is thanks to this noble, yet humble soul, that I have been able to enjoy nearly the full product line of these brewer/artisan's. Their products range from strong ales of heroic complexity to their "Traditional", a wonderful mild, session brew. Well, as it happens Mike was serving Steel Rail Extra Pale Ale, one of the Berkshire line that arouses one's palate and says only one word to me: "More". So we had two tall ones and dawdled down the Hill to the Ball.

We all grabbed beers, all watery yellow concoctions and after one Bud Light (I know, I know and there were witnesses too ... ahh the shame and horror)I was compelled to seek solace in a glass of Bombay Sapphire Gin. The botanical aroma and alcoholic warmth of the ice cold gin as it passed my lips was inescapable, sublime and wonderful. What followed can only be best described as a batting slump. Despite some CPR in the form of more Steel Rail on the walk home thier was no hope, the intrepid Beerman was flatlining.

Over the next couple of days repeated trips to the Legendary Beer Only Fridge yielded experiences that can best be compared to kissing ones sibling. The beer drinking experience that these visits yielded is best described as chaste, proper, respectful and utterly devoid of emotional attachment. No glorius flights of hop fancy in the IPA's, no rich rewarding coffee notes in the Brooklyn Chocolate Stout, no sweet malts in the Dussel Alt, no biscuity palate in the Long Trail Ale. Blah, Blah, Blah. Woe is me.

There is one light at the end of the tunnel however. A remedial drink so elegant and simple. A blissful beverage so pure and divine that while I know the slump will pass I am in no hurry to see it end. That saving Grace is, of course, the Plymouth Gin Very Dry Martini.

The Cure for the Beer Slump:

Take two 6 ounce cocktail glasses rinse and place in the freezer. 10 minutes should do it.

Half-Fill a steel shaker with fresh ice, no runny stuff from an ice bucket, get it right from the freezer if you must.

Add to the shaker 3 ounces of Plymouth Original Strength Gin, and a scant capful of Martini and Rossi Dry Vermouth or other quality dry vermouth.

Skewer and place three stuffed queen size olives on a small plate, (pimento, jalapeno, bleu cheese, almonds, anchovies or onion all work for me). I Do not put them into the drink, rather I leave them on the side.

Vigorously shake the Gin, Ice and Vermouth together until the the shaker is covered with with a heavy coating of frost on the outside (about two minutes). You will need to use a clean bar towel to hold the shaker if you do this right as your hands will get quite cold.

Remove one frosty cocktail glass from the fridge and strain the milky white slush into it. Then Sit on your front porch, take a nibble of an olive, and take your first ice cold sip of the cure for the Beer Slump. Repeat as neccessary. If symptoms persist for more than 2 weeks, switch to Manhattans or Margarita's.

Man (or Woman) cannot live on beer alone.


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