Beer for Toads

Catchy Title this week, eh? In my efforts to keep you, the beer drinking cognoscenti of our little town on the bay, fully aware of global beer affairs I bring you this juicy tidbit from the land down under.
Boys and Girls the topic for the week is Cane Toads. Cane toads are a species of toad that is native to Central America. These huge toads (up to 5 lbs.) were imported to various parts of the globe, including Hawaii, Florida, the Caribbean and Australia as a means of controlling the pesky Sugar Cane Beetle. It was reasoned that these bug vacuuming behemoths would allow farmers to control these beetles without the use of pesticides.
Buzzzzzz - Wrong answer. Thanks for playing.
Sugar Cane Beetles reside in the upper portion of the sugarcane…far from the reach of these monstrous toads. To make matters worse, Cane toads (bufo marinus) excrete toxic fluids from glands on their backs and are thus toxic to predators, even in the tadpole stages, so they are breeding unchecked and driving out the native amphibian populations wherever they take hold. Alas, the good folks at Coopers Brewery in Australia have a solution. Beer for toads. Here is an extract from a recent article in the Northern Territory News:
“The RSPCA, Coopers Brewery and the Cavenagh Hotel have teamed up in the name of animal welfare and the result is that toads can be turned into beer.
In a move designed to turn seasoned Top End beer drinkers into lean, mean, toad-catching machines, the three Darwin organisations have got together to set up a toad-for-beer exchange.
Anyone over the age of 18 who captures a toad and delivers it alive to the Darwin RSPCA qualifies for a glass of icy cold Coopers beer at the Cavenagh Hotel.
``Everyone who takes a cane toad to the RSPCA to be disposed of humanely gets a voucher for a free pot of Coopers ale at the Cav,'' Coopers Brewery's NT sales executive Sean Gould said. “
So I gather they want the toads dead, - but from a kinder, gentler sort of death than say the one that a well placed Louisville Slugger or steel belted radial tire might administer…”
``No coupons for squashed toads,'' Mr Wilkinson said. “
He was keen to make it clear he wasn't starting a roadkill collection. ``Healthy, live, no squashed cane toads,'' he said.
And Mr Simmonds agreed, saying the deal was ``fresh toads for fresh beer''.
``The idea is to get people catching toads and taking them for humane disposal”
Now here is the line that might offend some people:
“Mr. Simmonds said no one would get a beer for taking a toad to the pub. “
I am Shocked! Shocked I tell you! What kind of blatant Amphibiphobia is this? If Neville Longbottom from the Harry Potter books has a toad, and he can bring it to Hogwarts why can’t I bring my pet toxic toad to the Harborside to share a pint of Bass Ale or a nice jar of Guinness? Sure you can kill them humanely, but don’t you dare try to share a pint with a toad before he’s off to meet his maker! Even the condemned gets a last meal. Humane treatment indeed - Hippocrates.
Outrage aside, this has me thinking. I wonder if Joe Reynolds and the Atlantic Highland’s Environmental Commission can arrange a reward system for humanely disposing of locally unwanted, invasive, excess Grey Squirrels? Anyone bringing a live, un-squashed, outwardly content, socially well adjusted, Grey Squirrel (like the ones in residence in my garage eaves) to the Monmouth County ASPCA for “retirement” gets a coupon for a nice Brown Ale? Make it two, one to savor in Squirrel-free bliss and one to toast the cute little grey fellow before he’s off to join the choir invisible? Sounds reasonable to me…
By the way Coopers is a great little brewery and they make some excellent if hard to find brews.
Cheers.