Beer from the Magic Kingdom

This past week my duties called me to the Spring Meeting of the National Association of Insurance Commissioners at Disney World. Your State insurance regulators are an affable bunch of hardworking folks that are charged with protecting the consumers of insurance products. Given the diversity of insurance products and services, they have their work cut out for them. That however is another story. In between the flurry of meetings and panel discussions (not to mention dinners and receptions) I found the time, with my faithful beer companion Albert, to walk out onto the Disney Boardwalk to observe the Big River Brewery. The Big River Brewery is part of a chain of Microbreweries owned by Gordon Biersch. My family and I have fond memories of the Big River Brewery in Chattanooga Tennessee. Excellent food, kid friendly and they pour a decent pint…not to mention the fact that it is right across the street from the Tennessee Aquarium, a neat place that you must see if you have the occasion to be in North-West Georgia or Eastern Tennessee. The Disney locale lacks the dark wood ambience and charm of the Tennessee venue but it does offer the only fresh brewed pint in the entire Magic Kingdom. Surely Walt himself would have preferred a fresh brewed pint, brewed within his realm, to a mass-marketed product imported from elsewhere. The menu was diverse and reasonably priced by Disney standards. The wait staff and bar tenders were attentive and friendly. Our bar tender Gary was obviously proud of the brewery and its products and went to great lengths to describe each of the brews offered and the flavor profile of each. If you happen to be at Disney World and in need a pint and a meal to sustain you, give this place a shot.

Sometimes I can go to extremes to obtain a new beer to try. This weekend was no exception. Just because it’s Florida doesn’t mean there isn’t any good beer to be found, right? Right. In my case the source of my present elation is a non-descript liquor store called “Big C”. On University Ave in Winter Park (part of Greater Orlando), just a short trip from the rental car drop-off, this diamond in the rough is strategically located next to a Winn Dixie and a short walk to Keller’s Barbecue…purveyors of a deliciously smoky pork sandwich. The store interior is bright and airy. It boasts a great section of Belgians not to mention many other European Brews. They also have the superlative craft brews of Great Divide and some more pedestrian Colorado brews including Tommy knocker. The little voice in the back of my head said “how the heck are you going to get this stuff home?” The beer lover in me bludgeoned the pesky voice into submission and purchased two bombers of Great Divide (Double IPA and Oak Aged Stout)Two Magnums from Meantime, UK (One Porter, One IPA), a 750 ml. of Flying Dog Brewery’s “Wild Dog” (Weizen Bock) and two 750’s from Val Dieu (Brune and Blonde). I also scored six new beer glasses for the collection.

The bounty safely secured in the car I pondered the logistics of the pending operation. How was I going to get this stuff home without winding up in Federal Custody? At this point, the little voice was alternating “I told you So” with “Sir, please come with me we have some questions regarding your baggage.” Surely the bottles will clink together and break in transit. If not they will definitely burst in the un-pressurized baggage compartment. Concluding that the latter was not likely I still had to ponder the former. Like a bolt from the blue the solution sprung forth from my troubled mind. I needed Bubble-wrap! Like an Oasis in the desert, Office Max loomed on my horizon. I quickly found the bubble-wrap and the packing tape I needed to safeguard my goods. Happy, I resumed my drive back to Disney World.

My simple solution was however not without its flaws, as I pondered the upcoming packing event; I realized that I needed something to cut the tape and bubble-wrap. Eureka! There was Lowe’s on the right, what better place to locate a fine piece of cutlery to cut wrap and tape. I purchased a nice little Gerber lock-back and back to the Magic Kingdom I went. About the time I reached the park entrance I recalled that the knife was packaged in one of those annoying clam-shell packages that are hermetically sealed and immune to assault by well honed incisors. Packaging so cunningly designed that it is guaranteed to injure or maim the unwary and ill-equipped. The only cutting implement I possessed was the Homeland Security Approved Nail Clipper…It may take some time I thought, but it will do the trick…I hoped. In the event it did work, barely, but it did take quite some time. I carefully wrapped and arranged my bottles in my rolling carry-on bag. I had packed an extra duffle to carry my coat home and that provided a safe and soft place to carry the six glasses I purchased as well as the obligatory Disney sweatshirts and t-shirts for the rest of the Clan.

Several days later I found myself on my way to the Airport. Apprehensive of my predicament to say the least. Weighing in at just less than 50 pounds (phew!), my roller bag was way too weighty for carrying on. I checked it and hoped for the best. No request from the baggage examiners to please come with them. No pre-flight announcement to report to the Security Desk or meet an Airline Representative. I boarded my flight thinking “So far so good”. Upon arrival in Newark, it seemed to take an eternity for the bags to arrive, and when they did my satchel was dead last. I imagined it arriving in a beer soaked plastic tray with a nasty letters from Homeland Security and from the Airline. Alas, in the end it was all a non-event. My worst fears never materialized and all my goodies arrived safe and sound.

You can be sure that when my Lenten Fast is concluded I will have some world class brews to enjoy.

Cheers…and thank heavens for bubble wrap!